can I help you with that?
one thing I intellectually know but have trouble implementing is asking for help. I get that it’s important to be able to lay down your pride, to receive support and gifts, yada yada. I also understand that my having trouble asking for help probably stems from my desire to not depend on anybody, which probably stems from being abandoned in some way at some point…an abandonment which hasn’t yet been resolved. have I mentioned that my mother is a therapist?
the truth is that there are a LOT of facets to the art of asking for and receiving help. regardless, I prefer not to. my husband can vouch for this. almost every time I ask for his help, I end up saying “never mind” and getting what I needed or doing what needed to be done before he even has a chance. it’s just, I usually realize by the time I ask that the request is stilly, because it’s something I can/could do easily for myself. and so I just do. in college, when I was living alone, any time I called someone to help (i.e. the cable guy) I would watch, ask questions and take notes…so that next time I can troubleshoot myself and might not have to call. all of this to say, I just like to think of myself as being independent in nature. it works for me.
however, this past Saturday morning I saw the benefit of receiving help demonstrated physically and tangibly. seeing this opened my eyes. it was SO POWERFUL. I attended an outdoor yoga class, to celebrate and honor a dear friend of mine, who is studying to be a yoga instructor. we started the class as any class would. soon we were calling out poses we like, challenging our balance and strength. (my inner competitor loves to play this way.) however, as a couple of the others are learning about instructing, so they are learning about correcting posture or alignment and assisting students.
I witnessed another yogi in a pose. her posture, alignment and strength were beautiful. she could do this pose very well on her own. and then I saw my friend offer assistance. it transformed into something EVEN MORE beautiful. there was an undeniable energy about it. she received support and strength from a friend, which allowed her to more deeply experience this pose…to surrender control and relax into her body more fully. trusting the assistance also allowed her to practice gratitude in that moment. it was awe-inspiring.
and I realized, instantly, that although I can do most things by myself… with help, support, by trusting the strength of my assistor, I could experience life more fully. my relationships could be experienced more deeply. and I could practice gratitude more often. life could be EVEN MORE beautiful.
the question is: am I open to receiving?
